Is Your Love Tank Full?

by Kressa Sisu / Jul 04, 2015 / Comments

I was recently introduced to a book called “The 5 Languages of love” which explores love in relationships and how each person has their own love language. It explains that we all have a “Love Tank” and when that is full we are happy and feel loved.

“Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need.”

This is where a lot of the confusion comes into play in relationships, as how we express love is different for each individual.

One person can be expressing their language of love and expecting the other person, (whose love language may be entirely different) to feel loved and content. But if you express love in a way that your spouse or partner doesn’t understand, he or she won’t realize you’ve expressed love at all.

The problem is you are speaking two different languages. Learning to speak the other person’s love language can go a long way to helping any troubled marriage or relationship.

He describes the 5 languages as:

Words of affirmation: sharing kind words, or words of encouragement.
Quality time: spending time together that is focused on each other; it may be doing an activity together or just sitting on the couch in conversation.
Receiving gifts: buying little gifts for no reason, just because you want to show you care.
Acts of Service: taking out the garbage, or cooking a meal for the other person.
Physical touch: this can be sexual or just a light touch on the shoulder, or a squeeze of a hand.

For example; The male’s way of expressing his love is to be of service; fixing things around the house and helping with childcare. And the female partner’s main language is quality time together without interruptions.

While one partner is doing what they think is showing love, the other is feeling neglected and their love tank is not being filled. If they could learn to speak each other’s love language, e.g. for him it would be spending quality time with her and for her it would be doing acts of service for him; they would each feel more cared for and content.

You can have more then one primary love language. There may be two from the list that are really important to you. Think of the things you request the most from a partner and that will give you a clue what your love language or languages are.

So now let’s take this a step further, what is your love language with yourself? How do you show you, that you care and value who you are? Maybe spending some quality time with yourself, doing something that you love or going for a massage.

If we are not in relationships then we have to fill our own love tank. Even if we are, filling our own love tank makes it much easier to be in a partnership because you already feel full from your own self value. Friends can also be a valuable support in helping us feel loved and cared for.

So give this some thought. How is your love tank? Is it being filled? How can you best get it filled, so you are feeling more cared for and happy? If you are in a partnership, share what you think each others love language is and whether you are meeting each other’s needs.

If you are single, how can you best fill your own love tank or enlist friends to pamper you. We all need to learn to ask for what we need. Many of us have expectations of others that we have not shared, but they are not mind readers so we all need to communicate more effectively.

Give a “blast” of love to someone or yourself and see how that lightens your own world and the world around you.

Kressa Sisu's picture
The Contributor

Kressa Sisu


Author, Emotional Intuitive, Artist

Kristina trained as a Social Worker and became a Certified Nutritionist, Specialized Kinesiologist and Energy Intuitive. Her personal experience and triumph over a serious, chronic illness prompted her to share her passion for well-being. Kristina is supporting others in living their dreams and realizing their own magnificence through her private practice, talks and workshops. She is also the author of “Food and the Emotional Connection” and the newly released “How to Get Out of Your Own Way”.