Dealing With Depression

by Ashleigh James / May 22, 2015 / Comments

Recently I've not felt myself. Some days I've struggled to get out of bed and others I've felt so alive that my body vibrates with energy. Up and down on an emotional roller coaster that I couldn't seem to get off... I've been depressed.

I am, however very aware of what is going on. This self awareness is a blessing. It allows me to step back from the pain and witness what I am doing to myself.

I have been trapped in the negativity and self doubt. Finding out that starting your own business (no matter how passionate you are about it) isn't all sunshine and rainbows. I was stuck listening to the "what if"s and "you can't"s whirling around my head. It's destructive and I don't want to live there.

Instead, I've been letting myself experience it while being mindful of my thoughts. That way I actually get to deal with the issue at hand without ignoring it or being too hard on myself.

This means that the girl who loved social events and being around people... would actually rather sit on her own and read. The girl who worked out religiously... struggled to muster the energy to get from behind her laptop. The girl who was usually quick to lend a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on... could only focus on her own needs.

Being an extrovert, this was a strange and new experience for me.

I've discovered that this means sometimes I don't want to be around people or, I suddenly crave someone's company. Please don't take it personally. Everything I'm doing is in the best interest of myself. As I've mentioned before, this isn't selfish behaviour because you are putting your needs first. And if you're lucky enough to have a healthy tribe of people who support you then they will understand.

The more I experience negative thoughts, the easier it becomes to rely on myself to get me out of the 'funk'. I know I am the only one responsible for myself.

Here are a few observations (from my personal experience);

- I believe we often rely on other people too much, like an emotional crutch. When really, all we have to do is know ourselves enough to understand what it is we need in order to shake it off - (getting to the point of knowing yourself is a different story entirely and requires constant growth from daily effort. Not easy).

- There are often times where we are not all we post to be on social media. I believe it's a way for us to put up barriers to hide our vulnerability. Well... this is me putting an end to that. Expect me to be real and call me out on it if I'm not.

- "Maybe if we ignore the elephant in the room, it will go away." Well I'm sorry but it doesn't, you have to address it. Face it head on but be kind to yourself. Take time out, be on your own, do the things you love and surround yourself with uplifting people.

- Eat regular healthy meals, drink water, get outside, practice yoga, meditate, be in the present moment, cut ties with negative people, exercise, express your feelings, listen to music, keep your home clutter free and most importantly… BREATHE! These things are my daily saviours.

I give you this advice from my heart to yours, because I've known pain like never before recently and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. That being said, everyone experiences it differently. I am extremely grateful that I can function normally and throw myself into work instead… other people aren't so lucky and the darkness consumes them.

I am openly letting you see into my soul and I am not afraid anymore because I accept who I am. And I love her... the mess she may be at times.

By accepting who you are in every moment, not just when you are happy, allows people into your life who accept you too.

So, stop saying you are fine when you are not.

Speak your truth...

"Monsters don't sleep under your bed, they sleep inside your head"

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The Contributor

Ashleigh James

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Ashleigh has a strong background in business development, management and education in the Health, Wellness and Fitness industry. She has been fortunate to work in the UK, Bermuda and Canada. These fantastic opportunities helped develop who she is but lead her wanting more from life.

After what she considers to be a spiritual awakening, she decided to work on herself from within by identifying insecurities and issues, particulary around self-worth that would hold her back. She believes that going through this process raises her consciousness as she sheds old belief systems, and gains spiritual gifts as a result.
Ashleigh feels that her experience is part of the global evolution of human consciousness (planetary shift). She wishes to support and empower others who are also taking this next step by continuing to work on herself and stand in her power.

She'd like to connect with those who are serious about creating a new system and reality based on unconditional love, and to awaken more people to this possibility.
She believes that we all have the personal power and responsibility to bring about this change.

Ashleigh is also the Owner/Editor in Chief of GEM Magazine - Gender Equality Movement.